Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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