i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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