Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Vodka?
Forever.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i now understand why vodka
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
