Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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