I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
