New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
