I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
