He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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