a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize