are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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