Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
