I'm gonna have a badass scar
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
