Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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