If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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