I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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