i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
