belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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