she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
