I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize