We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Don't tell me you're on acid again
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
And then he peed in my hair
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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