So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I love you.
Bad choice
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize