How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Mom said you looked used
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
