At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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