why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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