bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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