You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
