Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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