I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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