just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize