I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
