last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize