Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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