That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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