If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
