it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
