so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
