I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
