I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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