you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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