Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I cockslap morals
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
