Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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