i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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