She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize