I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
