You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
