I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize