her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
