You really coming over, don't trick.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.