U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
