No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
