Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
