if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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