so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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