Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
