Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
