Say something about gay babies.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
