addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
