what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
